The Carl Sagan Facts0November 6th, 2010Comedy
Hey Internet! Do you know what day it is?
It’s Carl Sagan Day!
Carl Sagan, one of the most goddamn influential scientists of contemporary times, the man behind NASA’s Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence program, the man who shot the 1977 Voyager Golden Record of humanity into space, who popularized science through his show “Cosmos: A Personal Voyage,” and wrote the book “Contact.”
Yes, the movie with Jodie Foster.
No, he did not write any other Jodie Foster vehicles. It’s just the one.
In honor of the man, the legend, the Astronomer / Astrophysicist / Cosmologist / Exobiology pioneer, here are a list of the top facts you may not have known about Carl Sagan.
CARL SAGAN FACTS:
Carl Sagan once made an apple pie from scratch. To do so, he created the universe.
Carl Sagan doesn’t need to count to infinity. Infinity counts to Carl Sagan.
Carl Sagan can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. On Europa.
Carl Sagan always know where Waldo is.
A man once tried to mug Carl Sagan. Carl Sagan explained to him that despite the Earth’s relative insignificance in an ancient and expanding universe, there is value in life and the human race. The mugger is now Steven Chu.
Carl Sagan understands the laws of nature. He wrote them.
Two writers based a comic book on Carl Sagan’s life. Unfortunately, they had to change the title for legal reasons. It’s now known as Superman.
When Carl Sagan stares into a mirror, the cosmos stares back.
Carl Sagan can turn a pale blue dot into a planet.
It took God a week to create life. Carl Sagan demonstrated he could create the building blocks of life from basic chemicals through radiation in an afternoon. Carl Sagan wins.
Carl Sagan doesn’t win awards. Awards win Carl Sagans.
When the aliens land, their first demand will be “Take us to your Sagan.”
Carl Sagan never said “Billions and Billions.” He thought the phrase, and the universe listened.
The number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop is one Sagan.
You can never Rickroll Carl Sagan. However, he once Carl Saganed Rick Astley.
Carl Sagan can roundhouse kick with words.
When Carl Sagan makes extraordinary claims, extraordinary evidence springs into existence.
If a rattlesnake bit Carl Sagan, he wouldn’t suck out the venom. He’d charm it out, and win a Peabody for it.
Carl Sagan let the dogs out.
And finally: Carl Sagan does not wake up to the rise of the sun. He wakes up to the rise of the Milky Way.
If you have more Carl Sagan facts, please contribute.
Tags: Carl Sagan, Comedy, facts